well, i suppose we'll start with britney...

did you watch that documentary on mtv the other night? you did, just admit it. 'no questions went unanswered. no topic was off limits.' really? REALLY? then where were the questions about adnan? about the hospital visits? why didn't we get a real answer about her shaving her head because her whole, 'a lot of people shave their heads' is bullshit and everyone knows it. she does, her 'interviewer' does, and we all do. for more of what i think about this 'expose,' go to

www.fourfour.typepad.com

i agree with him. in other, related, news, i bought a couple songs from her new album. i'll defend myself with the 'it's good to work out to, repetitive, basic, i don't think about her silly lyrics,' but they are awful damn catchy.

onto more important topics, however...the election came and went, my very first election. and while i wouldn't say i got totally into it, as i'm still a fairly apolitical person, i did get really excited, and i did get some tears in my eyes when obama got elected. and i'm looking forward to the future. even though we are officially in a recession, for some reason, there's still hope there. and that reason is obama. and i think to a certain extent, the young people, my generation. i think we're all worried about money, but we've all got the optimism and positivity to sorta sit back and be happy that we have our jobs, however meaningless they sometimes seem, and however burnt out we sometimes feel.

i watched that funny or die video today, about prop 8, etc. (look it up--it's got jack black as jesus. you can't miss it.) gay marriage can save the economy!

i feel stuck in columbia these days, but not necessarily in a bad way even. there are reasons for me to be here. i really want to enroll in cosmetology school in the spring and of course there just so happens to be a very qualified one right by my apartment! isn't that neat? so i'm trying to save up money in order to do that in the spring. at the same time, i'm trying to make rent this month. now is probably not the time to be saving up for some seemingly-impossible goal. oh well. i've never been one for timing. it IS exciting realizing what i want to do in life, however. for the first time, really, in twenty four years. so i'll stay in columbia, with my little job and my little income, and i'm grateful. and we'll see where it goes.

and i'm going to go ahead and say something really really cheesy and that is there exists no recession in my heart. i'm rich in pretty much every other way but the obvious. i love my little family here. my cat, my dog, my boyfriend. visits with my mom, who's become a friend as we've aged. the occasional but always necessary talk with old friends, caitlin, sean, everyone who knows me best and knows the real me. my faraway friends. for as slow as people say southern people are, they don't seem to take the time to get to know anyone.

which i believe i've touched on before in this very blog!! wow!

either which way, that was my itty bitty catch-up blog. une autre bientot, je vous promets.

a votre!

july 19th?!

i haven't blogged since july 19th and that is fucking stupid-long. if i didn't have to head to work in approx. 20 minutes (thus a pressing necessity for pre-work smokes), i would blog today, by golly! but again, fair (or fairweather) readers, you shall have to wait for all my words of wisdom(and all the other ones, also). i am in a parenthetical kinda mood this afternoon. perhaps tomorrow, i will be more clear-headed (and easier to read?)

only time will tell...

la patience est un vertu...

vote!

so i know i haven't blogged in forever ever ever, but i will really quick here to tell all who reads this to please vote for me in this silly little 'campaign' on brickfish.com!

i could win a trip for two to nyc, clothing from project runway winner christian siriano ('fierce!'), and styling by the project runway stylists. you can vote at least every day, so do !!

thank you!

http://www.brickfish.com/edzunker

i know, it's been awhile.

patience, my friends.

i haven't been writing, because i've been WORKING. a lot. and when i'm not working, all i want to do is hang out with my family, my boyfriend, outdoors, at the pool, in the sunshine. so hanging out on a computer all day isn't appealing. yet. as the weather continues to heat up, trapping myself indoors will probably sound like a fantastic idea. fuck, i always forget how hot it gets here. every summer seems like it MUST be more humid than the one before. the memories we repress, i suppose...

a thought to end this entry:
kaitlin said something last night about how we should be honest and brutal with our opinions. we all sorta assumed she meant towards the customers. a ridiculous request is responded to with a scoff and a rolling of the eyes, that sort of thing. but she meant towards each other. which almost seems like a good idea, but on a night like last night, i think it would have ended up in one of a few scenarios: a firing, a quitting, a bitch slap, verbal abuse, and/or tears. there's always something so stressful about working in a restaurant. and especially when it's busy. and especially when it's understaffed. and especially when the same few people have to see each other almost every single day. i work almost every day and last night, i couldn't get to sleep without at least five different 'server nightmares.' i guess that's why waiter rant exists, though. so people don't have to be honest and brutal to someone's face, they can do it anonymously on the internet. and i guess that kind of liberty would be nice, but i don't think i have anything terribly mean to say to anyone. i just wish i had the power to tell people to get over themselves and work together as a team and i would get some sort of reaction, some real response.

i wish people would listen.

so i guess that's why i have my blog. to get it out there and feel like i've made some small contribution. i don't have the balls to say it to someone's face, someone with whom i have to work almost every single day, but i have the balls to at least say it. and i guess that's something...?

au pouvoir, mes amis, le pouvoir de changement.

i want a garden

i've been reading this blog all day:
eating-in.blogspot.com

just some girl who writes about food, basically. reviews some restaurants, posts recipes (and mouthwatering photos!), etc. she's from (?) south carolina, and i wish she would come back to solstice again...she had a sorta mini-review of her experience way back in '06. we have new dishes, random south carolina blogger girl! ask for emma!

anyway. the weather's gotten super nice these days and i've been spending all my free time at the pool. which isn't necessarily the best for my gym time, but is for my mental stability. sometimes you just want to lay in the sunshine all.day.long. i know i do. and now, armed with three new bikinis i justified myself into buying yesterday, i will continue to practically live poolside. delicious.

becca's in town for a couple days, which is really nice. my mother, sister, and i haven't been in the same town for an extended period of time for...well, an extended period of time. we're coming to the restaurant this evening together for a girl's night out/mother's day celebration. it promises to be fabulous.

other than that, not a whole lot going on. nate and i have been looking and kittens and puppies online (and occasionally in real life), which is a tortuous joy. torture, because we really don't need any more animals. yet joyful, because they're really fucking cute. i'm not trying to be insenstive or morbid but next two pets=a dilute calico kitten and a young bernese mountain dog.

hair appointment tomorrow. hopefully we'll get the back blonde this time, plus a trim, maybe some highlights? my hair involves a lot of maintenance, but i don't mind a bit, something i would never have imagined myself experiencing. it's my one big splurge, my hair. fun times.

and with that, i'm out.
paix, mes amis.

voila!

a couple pictures of the new 'do:





it looks great in black and white (but what doesn't?) and in the color photos, it's actually gotten lighter, brighter, and less sorta' yellowy.

i think i'm going to do white blonde pieces in it next time i go in, be a blondie for about two months or so, then i'm guessing i'll get bored. maybe auburn next?

i like it, i think it's kinda edgy and different and interesting, although my mother detests it. thanks again for all the fantastic POSITIVE feedback!

bottom line, it's HAIR. it grows, it changes, and it's fun. i'm excited.

i want a macbook for my birthday

it's a sunny day here in the south. but it's not super-hot and humid yet. i would love to hang out on the balcony and smoke a cigarette and drink an icy cocktail on a day like today.

i'm listening to cut copy, a group that's been growing on for the past couple weeks. i have a day off from work.

i recently saw one of my best friends, sean, who i met in france. he came down from boston (!) on thursday, we had a fun day together on friday, getting our nails done, huge cappuccinos, hanging with my mom, and watching fun reality television. then stephenie came to visit and nate came home from work and we all went to dinner across the street and ate tons of good food, drank delicious wine, played games, shared stories, and caught up with one another. a night with three of the coolest and most important people in my life these days. it doesn't get a whole lot better than that.

i find myself repeating that line 'i have a friend in town this week,' or 'i'm headed to [insert place that's not here] for the weekend' or some twist on those words more and more often. and i'm not trying to say that everyone here sucks, i just don't see myself forming those kind of friendships, the ones that matter, the ones that last longer than a night of drinks, the ones that involve people who actually do call when they say they will, the ones that go beyond something i see recurring on a very regular basis, that southern superficiality.

this is not a rant. this is not to say that i have cut myself off from any opportunity to form the friendships that matter here where i live, because i want them, i welcome them, i try to encourage them, i would adore experiencing them here. it just doesn't seem to happen.

i'm not writing this to judge those who are okay with having the relationships they do have with people. to each his own. if you like this friendship light, this diet friendship with those around you and you're totally content, then who am i to say that's not the right thing for you?

it's just not right for me. the people with whom i do have relationships have spoiled me in a way that makes me expect more from people. they've spoiled me to an extent that when you don't live up to those expectations, i'm going to continue to cling on to the people whom i've loved for years, those people who live up to the expectations, the guy who drives down from boston, the old friend who calls me from france on her cell phone, the one who asks how i am on a semi-regular basis via facebook because she's busy living her life in prague, the girl who calls me on a sunday evening and leaves a message letting me know that she needs me in her life more.

i'm excited to make new friends, more friends, good friends. if you ever want to do more than an occasional lunch date, an every now and then night on the town, if you really want to talk and hang out and share stories and experiences, to take the everyday talk about work and the gossip and just put a little bit more feeling and reality behind all of it, know that i love that kind of thing and i'm here.

in the meantime, i'm going to try to start saving up for a laptop, so i can enjoy my time in the sun. i'm going to love where i am and love that i have deep friendships with what sometimes seems like a million different types of people. i'm going to continue to love my job, to love my boyfriend, to love my cat and my dog and my little apartment, to love my friends, and my family, and my roadtrips, and the next new exciting happening in my life as they come and go and make impact.