long time, no blog...

the last time i wrote, it was almost spring and here it is, almost fall. well, sort of. as almost fall as it can get, i suppose. earlier today i was laying out at the pool, soaking up what i keep thinking is the last bit of sun and heat and i'll be doing that until they lock up the pool, because i like it. it's sauna-like and cleansing, and i enjoy the light reading that always accompanies it. don't worry, i'm using sunscreen, everyone.

i am ready for some brisk weather. just that slight edge of crispness in the air. and, in no way does fall here compare with virginia (or saratoga springs, for that matter, which i experienced last year), but fall is fall and fall is nice.

i'll take any and all changes i can get these days. if that means something as simple as the slightest dip in temperature, so be it. i've been craving change. novelty. something big, but something small will do. i'm definitely ready to move.

unfortunately, i'll have to wait for the big move. after visiting carrboro/chapel hill, nate and i decided for sure we would plan to move there. it's as perfect for us as we thought, if not more so. a small town, but with stuff happening everywhere. a bit more idea of weather and seasons, which is a welcome change. here, it's just summer, summer, summer, then grayness that people call winter. no snow, no colorful fall, just heat, heat, heat, then-boom-it's freezing. yes, that's an exaggeration, but come winter and during the middle of summer, that's always how i feel.

either way, enough about weather, because north carolina has even more going for it. great restaurants, great, interesting, diverse people, an aveda hair school, a real sense of community and hospitality. not 'southern hospitality,' where people ask how you are without the slightest interest in your answer, but real hospitality, where people are willing to answer your silly questions and show you around and are effusively into their town and proud of it. ask someone from carrboro/chapel hill, 'hey, you like where you're from?' and they'll write you a ten paragraph email going on and on about how awesome everything is, from the mall to the food to the grocery store to the trails you can go bike riding on. ask someone from here and the most common answer i've been receiving lately is, 'ehh...'

i know i sound like i'm down on where i am, and i am. and i can't move now, because i don't have the money and nate has to finish out the school year and i'd like to finish out the year at solstice, make some money, save up for hair school and moving and everything. and i like having this goal, the goal of north carolina, the goal of starting over, the goal of hair school and following some sort of path to an actual career.

sometimes i have to remind myself that it's a goal, something towards which i'm working, and i have to remind myself to be content for now. part of me feels like i'm waiting for my real life to begin. i know i've written about this before. i wonder if all those people my age, even the ones who seem so happy and settled, especially the ones who seem so happy and settled, feel the same way? are we all just ever so slightly lost, just waiting?

this has been quite a rambling entry, and perhaps my next will be more organized? one can only hope.

a la prochaine, mes amis.