banana split

weirdly, i'm craving a banana split. it's a fantastic blog post title. you want one too, don't you now? funny enough, the only banana split i've ever had was one in france, in a cafe called les varietes. i got into a really strange habit of ordering one every sunday night for dinner for like, weeks.

it's monday, but i'm craving a les varietes banana split like it's sunday.

maybe it has something to do with this feeling i have every morning when i wake up, that same feeling i had in france, of newness and nervousness. every day, i get up and i've got two new jobs now and i'm meeting so many different people and every day i'm bombarded by the impression that i need to make an impression.

i'm excited, don't get me wrong, and i'm positive about everything that's happening and it's such a spectacular feeling, this one of going out and going after things and doing things, but at the same time, it's fucking scary. exhilarating, but terrifying. i've always been haunted by the possibility of failure, that threat. it's always been one of my greatest fears. at the same time, i haven't felt truly challenged on any kind of regular basis since macon, and it's refreshing feeling like i have to prove my smarts to myself, instead of just waltzing through the routine that had snuck up and taken over parts of my life.

so. as an update: i'm challenged, i'm scared, but more than all that, i'm really darn excited.

and i'm craving a banana split.