TOMORROW

tomorrow is the big day of all big days, the biggest day i've had in three years, my last big day being college graduation.

wow, haven't done much in three years. that's depressing.

i mean, i have, i've worked almost every day for the past three years and have been very involved with that, and i've learned a lot, and i've loved it (and sometimes i've hated it, i'll be an honest person), but nothing huge and exceptional has really seemed to happen.

i haven't gotten a big promotion, i haven't gotten pregnant (knock on wood!) or engaged, haven't made a big move...all the things my friends have been busy with.

but now i get to be excited for my big move--i've been talking about it long enough!

it's fucking scary--i don't have a job, i don't know anyone but nate where i'm moving, we're taking such a leap.

i'm just soooo tired of complaining about where i live, and how much i'm phoning in my life and i think it's gonna take something like this, a big leap, a change, a shake-up to jumpstart my life again, which sounds like my life has sucked for three years, which it definitely hasn't, but i do need a shake-up. it's not necessarily a bad thing, i think some people need that sense of novelty and danger even in their lives. i might be one of those people.

and now is the time where i've got absolutely nothing to lose and where i could take a real chance and get a real career and not be a 'restaurant lifer' and i hope something opens itself up to me and i hope something magically reveals itself as my dream job, because i certainly don't know what i'm looking for, but in the meantime, i'm pretty terrified but very excited to pound the pavement and at least get some sort of job to pay the bills... i know that i don't want to get stuck in anything that i don't completely love and this move is showing me that i'm capable of breaking free when it's time to do so.

i don't even know if anyone reads this blog or if i'm making any sense. it's early for me, and i haven't had nearly enough coffee.

all i know is i've got about six hours to pack up all my STUFF today, then relax with a drink with my mom and a one last nice dinner with my boyfriend that needs to hold us over for a while, and then i get to get out of here!

ohhhh, columbia, i'll miss you just the tiniest bit.

but not that much.