new post!

so here i am, 2009, back with a new post. how terribly exciting.

i've been reading back through all my France Journals lately (yes, i capitalize) and realizing how much i've grown since then, and for so many different reasons. it's self-absorbed, sure, but only in the most positive manner, i'm maintaining.

i've been writing more lately, in my real journal (because sometimes, most of the time, a blog simply won't cut it), so for those who ever get to read it, some of this may be a bit repetitive (nate.)

but if you, the general you, the you who read this whoever you may be, ever get the chance to read something old, from years ago, from a different time, from a different you, be it a journal, a diary, an essay, a letter, a to-do list, whatever it is, whatever you call it, you get to see this amazing journey you've taken.

a bit about mine: from france until now, so from....2005 until 2009, four years, it's insane to see the evolving.

from subsisting on cafe cremes and expensive cigarettes to maintaining a relatively healthy diet (and smoking less expensive cigarettes...and drinking less expensive coffee), from skipping classes to a newly developed real sense of work ethic (consider this: we're open six days a week. i work five, consistently. for quick, crazy hours at a time, granted, it's a restaurant, but still), from my almost neverending wails of 'where is the boy for me?!' to this boy of mine.

from completely overdrawing from every account known to any bank to which i belonged (seemingly, at least) to opening a savings account, paying my bills on time, paying my rent, paying my credit card, paying all my many, many loans. from binge drinking until the wee hours of morning to enjoying a couple beers after work and making it to bed by midnight.

it's the little things, it's the Big Things, it's everything. and while this blog illustrates an almost-too responsible (?) person, i think there's still a certain element of fun, of daring, of enthusiasm that i bring to the table, in any and all situations.

and to read back over the Journals, it's even more interesting to see what's stayed the same, a constant of sorts for years, if not decades. my passion for art, my love and appreciation of nature, of people, of observation. my love for my friends, my support for them and my resolve for them to always be near to my heart if not near in physical proximity. sean. caitlin. stephenie. my love for my school. my interest and curiosity in south carolina and society here, these customs that were more foreign to me then than anything in france, remain just as foreign. my desire to love with all of my heart, just one person, just one man, to be completely enveloped by a powerful, restorative kind of love, that longing, that yearning, that need...it's been realized in the most special and beautiful of ways.

i'm just so thrilled, really, to be me. and i love to write, and to read, and to remember, and to record everything so i can fully realize all of it, while it's happening, after it's happened, and look forward to all the new adventures.

and i have every confidence that the adventures are ready for me.