paris (la ville, PAS hilton)

i would like to go to paris this weekend.









i have more to write, but i think today is a real writing day, not a blogging day, therefore, if you want to know anything about which i'm actually writing and not blogging, you'd have to have a real conversation with me.

i'm craving true discourse and contact and involvement today.

but i'll probably just end up at the coffee place across the street, ou je vais fumer et ecrirer toute seule.

and that's fine with me too.

c'est pas mal, c'est pas grave, et la vie est belle, chers lecteurs.

charleston.

when i was younger and went to hilton head high school, i visited charleston a handful of times, if that. and there were parts of it that always really bugged me. it seemed that everyone looked exactly the same. the girls all had the same color hair, the same color skin, the same clothes, the same boyfriends. the boys all had the same color shirts, the same sunglasses (and croakies. of course)...it just seemed like a boring place to live.

then i went this weekend to visit my good friend stephenie. we got coffee at this place that's associated with some african art thing. beautiful small cafe with a fantastic courtyard (that would have been more enjoyable on a spring night, but that's okay). then we sort of fake shopped for a bit around king street, making fun of the american apparel bright gold leggings and wondering if i could pull of legwarmers. we then proceeded to raval, a spanish tapas place where we drank a bottle of wine, and ate almost one order of everything on the menu. pan con tomate, a thick bread rolled in fresh tomato, olive oil, and tons of garlic with tapenade, chickpea puree, and roasted garlic. asparagus wrapped in artichoke goat cheese and serrano ham. patatas bravas with aioli. a cheese plate.

i was soooo happy. it was one of the best times i've had recently, just really good food and really good wine with two of the coolest people i know.

we took a smoke break, met some randoms, watched the place fill up, paid, and left. we zipped by stephenie's to give her puppy some exercise and for me to change (more layers!!). headed out to a dive-y bar where we met some of her friends, listened to karaoke, made the acquaintance of a man who 'was a shrink for twenty years, but now is just a caddy'...danced with him, took funny pictures, laughed, drank, then went to another bar, then to one of steph's friend's places.

good conversation, good people, good times.

it was exactly what i needed and gave me a new view of charleston--not everyone looks the same. it's got tons of restaurants that i want to try on my next visit. it's got character. and not the kind of 'southern charm character' that the tourism bureau may brag about and the travel shows want to portray. real character.

la vie est belle. mais vous le savez deja, mes amis.

hungry kitten.

my cat is looking up at me with this face that very clearly says "uhm, it's five past three and i'm HUNGRY, bitch. feed me. please?" but i'm looking back and saying "sorry, honey, if you're lucky, you'll get fed at 20 after, but really, your dinner time is four. step off. please."

i got my haircut. pictures are coming, i promise.
i love getting a haircut and it taking a while for me to get used to it. that's what's happening today. it's short. short short. and kind of fabulous. and i'm pretty sure i like it. and i'm pretty sure i'll love it by...tomorrow at the latest. i told nate and i'll express it here, i feel like i need to wear the funkiest clothes i own in order to stay even with the funky hair. this may mean some shopping?

emma, ever the optimist.

also, thanks to kait the great for THIS website:

www.projectrungay.blogspot.com

i love it, i love it, i love it. and it makes me look even more forward to tomorrow's episode, if that were possible. maybe there will be some fabulous twist and they invite kevin back??

okay, time for my pre-work coffee and cigarette routine.

la vie est belle, mes amours!

everything will be alright if you just stay the night

i love when i'm driving down the road and i see what looks like it could potentially be tragically a dead cat or some other sweet animal and it turns out to be a pile of pine straw or something equally un-cute.

it makes my day.

television post.

first of all, how do i get this job??

http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2008/01/gossip_girl_finale.html

watch trashy tv shows every week, comment on their realisticness or lack thereof, write cute fun commentary, and get paid? yes, please.

secondly, project runway, especially this season is bullshit. victorya's dress last night, while a semi-cute cut (for a day dress!) was freaking TACKY. not prom enough, not done enough, not good enough. and she didn't even seem happy about winning. no crack of a smile. can you imagine how adorable sweet P would have been if she had won? she probably would have cried, she'd have been so happy. her dress was GORGEOUS. fit perfectly, was super-flattering, very glam, very prom, exactly what her client wanted. COME ON.

and kevin off before RICKY? really?! everyone already knows my love for kevin, but i'm also simply amazed that ricky, who keeps putting forth SUCH a minimal effort, keeps getting his little pat on the back. yes, kevin's dress was bad. although i quite honestly think ricky's was worse. at least jevin used color!! as for ricky's, that little jeweled belt-type thing at the waist was tacky, the color (or lack thereof) was horrific, the dress was terribly unflattering, PLUS it looked like lingerie and we get it, ricky, you like your lingerie. one dimensional son of a...

and speaking of one dimensional, nate said it before, and i'm beginning to agree, while i think rami's draping is lovely...i mean, it's draping. again. and it better be fabulous every time you do it because you do it every time. i'm surprised during the menswear challenge he didn't make a toga.

i think i'm done ranting now. i'm just angry that the judges have their favorites and it's just so terribly obvious. i mean, that's just not the point of the show. a few seasons from now, i'm sure top chef is gonna turn into the same thing. they all start out with the best intentions...

a shame.

in other news, i have a slight sore throat and i'm keeping myself busy chugging anything that looks like it might have vitamins so i don't get sick. any other advice? preventative measures, people.

cent choses.

1. every time i look at pictures of angers, france (and mine in particular), i can smell the air there, i can feel the sun on my skin, and i remember precisely the feeling i had at the moment the picture was taken.
2. my eyes always well up when i look at pictures of france.
3. but not in a bad way. more in a 'i need to get back there and be able to do so on a regular basis' kind of way.
4. i think my love for the l word, tegan and sara, and ani difranco reflects my woman's college education.
5. i wish i had the opportunity to dress up more often. lately, i wake up, head to the gym, shower, and hang in sweats until work when i change into work clothes.
6. i need to take up a hobby or something where dressing up has a point, perhaps?
7. i love listening to latin music, salsa in particular, even though i don't understand spanish.
8. i dislike french accents on men, but think they're adorable on women.
9. i love listening to soko as a result of this.
10. i want to shave my head and if i didn't risk losing my both my job and my boyfriend, i would totally go for it. maybe.
11. i don't look at serving as a career.
12. but i have no idea what i want to do.
13. at 23, not knowing what i want to do scares me.
14. i do know that i want to write.
15. but i'm not sure how to go about that.
16. i need to get myself up and out and pushing forward for things like that.
17. ironically, i keep writing about that and not actually doing it.
18. i hate people who are bad at keeping in touch.
19. i'm becoming one of those people.
20. even with all this technology, between cell phones and myspace and facebook and blogs and texting and email, i find it fascinating that anyone can lose touch with anyone else. ever.
21. there are days when i feel soooo responsible.
22. then there are those when i still feel so little and immature and naive.
23. i miss having a girlfriend. i just want someone with whom i can do lunch, go dancing, drink coffee, someone who's right here, not in new york city or prague or denmark or france...
24. i'm losing my french.
25. sometimes, for practice, i talk to myself or the dog in french as i get ready for work or take him for a walk.
26. i'm always scared some neighbor's going to walk by and think i'm crazy for 1) talking to the dog and 2) talking to the dog in french!!
27. when it's warm and sunny outside, ALL i want to do is open all my windows and doors and blast good music and dance.
28. sometimes i wish i were rich and i could just travel and go shopping all day.
29. but the moment after i even think that, i wish that i were more involved in charities and was interested in the peace corps or something.
30. i miss virginia.
31. the reasons i miss virginia are weird, though--bodo's bagels, piles of leaves, and smoking cigarettes on the curlies at macon.
32. when i'm put in new and unfamiliar situations and i'm nervous, i revert back to who i was when i was anorexic.
33. to some extent, i believe i'm a control freak.
34. i'm amazed every day that i've been dating the same boy for more than a year.
35. i'm THRILLED every day that i've been dating the same boy for more than a year.
36. i've always wished that i could play a musical instrument.
37. but, really, it's all about the guitar.
38. when i was little, i had a fantasy about fronting an all-male group and singing my little heart out, a la gwen stefani.
39. i had always been better friends with boys then girls, until i got to randolph-macon.
40. randolph-macon was when i realized for my survival, i better start getting along with women.
41. randolph-macon was when i realized there was a difference between men and boys and women and girls.
42. during my first year of college, i was SO young.
43. during my sophomore year, i started becoming a strong woman.
44. it was then i learned to defend myself.
45. it was then i realized how bitchy and manipulative girls could be.
46. it was then i realized how much better and important it is to have one good friend versus several acquaintances.
47. during my junior year, i got a helluva lot of craziness out of my system.
48. during my senior year, i think i balanced my life really really well, between my senior paper, my other classes, my friends, and my boyfriend. it was the first time i admitted to myself that i was proud of myself.
49. sometimes i regret getting my first tattoo.
50. sometimes i want tattoos of really lame things.
51. i'm happy that i'm smart enough to realize i don't actually want a tattoo of said lame thing before i run out and get it.
52. i don't think i've ever sung in the shower.
53. i have a weakness for chocolate.
54. it grows as i get older.
55. i wish i didn't like smoking cigarettes.
56. life without vice is a life not worth living.
57. sometimes i wish i had never become a vegetarian.
58. even now, i can't seem to fully enjoy most meat.
59. which, i guess, is fine and maybe, in some cases, healthy, but not as fun when you have my job.
60. i like to keep a food journal.
61. i hate writing down the bad things i eat!
62. which i suppose is the point.
63. i want to move.
64. i'm not sure i could live without internet.
65. or television.
66. i mean, i'm sure i could LIVE, but i love internet and television.
67. in my defense, it's not only because i love mindless entertainment, but also because media inspires conversation, which inspires friendship and stimulates the mind.
68. writing 100 things about myself is far more difficult than i ever imagined.
69. even at 23, writing the number 69 makes me giggle a little bit.
70. sometimes i feel like caitlin is more my sister than my actual sister is.
71. they're becoming more even as we all mature.
72. i think my grandmother is one of the most beautiful women in the world.
73. my mother and my sister and caitlin are all up there too.
74. if i were in my grandfather's shoes, i'd be drinking again. and it would be only the most expensive bottles of wine i could lay my hands on.
75. i wish i knew more about wine.
76. and i know that i can use my time during the day in smarter manners. reading about wine, for instance!!
77. i wish i had a stronger jawline.
78. i love nate's jawline. it's one of the first things that ever attracted me to him.
79. i think the gravity of a relationship can be defined by the first things that attract one to another. if it's something random, like jawline, the relationship has a better chance of lasting.
80. this has not been scientifically proven nor even actually tested. by anyone, as far as i know. but i'm curious. theories abound!
81. when i write exclamation points, i write the dot, then the line.
82. i think most people are the opposite. line, then dot. exclamation, then point.
83. sometimes i like to think this makes me unique.
84. i prefer watching films on my couch rather than in a theatre.
85. i prefer to write 'theatre' rather than 'theater.'
86. i love thrift stores, but people always seem to find cooler stuff than me.
87. i miss my breakfasts of pain au chocolat.
88. i miss french yogurt.
89. lately i think i'm addicted to yogurt.
90. i love my pets an inordinate amount.
91. i simultaneously love and hate entering a petsmart.
92. i wonder if i would ever be friends with the people i'm friends with if i had never worked with them, gone to school with them, lived in france with them...
93. but, then again, how else do you make friends, really? i don't know...
94. i used to be a much better dancer.
95. i want to start taking ballet again.
96. i think if i really let myself go, i could be a much cooler person.
97. i think that's what i do with nate, with caitlin, in france, and that's why i always like myself more in those instances.
98. the best meal i've ever had was still breakfast at the flying biscuit in atlanta.
99. i'm a sucker for breakfast. it would be my last meal.
100. i'm surrounded by love and i know how fortunate i am. and i know i deserve it.

kait's 100 things

i'm not doing it now, but i hope to soon, because i think it's something beautiful. however, at this point in the week, so early, since it's monday, i can't bring myself to think quite that much. yet. but i will. make a list of 100 things about me, those small things, those tiny things that most people don't know about me...and i don't even think it's an exercise in self-centeredness as much as it's one in self-awareness. and in turn that inspires others which makes it an exercise in...other-awareness. and that is highly admirable. thus, i will partake. but later.

in the meantime, i need to get a haircut soon...some antm-inspired, fun faux hawk-y ideas:

vh1's america's next top model supermodelthon

the holidays are over and they were terrific, which makes me happy. 2008 has arrived and i'm super-excited and just looking forward to continual progression and improvement and evolution of myself and my friendships and my relationships...

of course, right now, i'm sitting around in sweatpants and a tshirt watching an episode of america's next top model that i've probably already seen twice in my life. such an addictive show though, especially the older ones when they had far cooler challenges and far cooler people. back when they had janice dickinson.

i love watching and getting inspired, especially during the makeover episodes when i think about new haircuts to get, even funkier than the one i have now, something i'm not sure i could pull off necessarily but still fun to think about...examples: naima from 'cycle 5,' sara from 'cycle 6...' yoanna of course. any haircut that can be turned into a faux-hawk gets me all excited.

i'm such a weirdo.

i hope to go down to charleston, in other news, to see band of horses play and also (and more importantly) see stephenie and her place down there. i'm ashamed to admit i haven't been down to visit her, even when it's so so close by!! it sounds like a lot of fun, and i'm kinda craving a fun adventure/road trip in my future.

everyone needs fun adventures. i am quite convinced.