it's a sunny day here in the south. but it's not super-hot and humid yet. i would love to hang out on the balcony and smoke a cigarette and drink an icy cocktail on a day like today.
i'm listening to cut copy, a group that's been growing on for the past couple weeks. i have a day off from work.
i recently saw one of my best friends, sean, who i met in france. he came down from boston (!) on thursday, we had a fun day together on friday, getting our nails done, huge cappuccinos, hanging with my mom, and watching fun reality television. then stephenie came to visit and nate came home from work and we all went to dinner across the street and ate tons of good food, drank delicious wine, played games, shared stories, and caught up with one another. a night with three of the coolest and most important people in my life these days. it doesn't get a whole lot better than that.
i find myself repeating that line 'i have a friend in town this week,' or 'i'm headed to [insert place that's not here] for the weekend' or some twist on those words more and more often. and i'm not trying to say that everyone here sucks, i just don't see myself forming those kind of friendships, the ones that matter, the ones that last longer than a night of drinks, the ones that involve people who actually do call when they say they will, the ones that go beyond something i see recurring on a very regular basis, that southern superficiality.
this is not a rant. this is not to say that i have cut myself off from any opportunity to form the friendships that matter here where i live, because i want them, i welcome them, i try to encourage them, i would adore experiencing them here. it just doesn't seem to happen.
i'm not writing this to judge those who are okay with having the relationships they do have with people. to each his own. if you like this friendship light, this diet friendship with those around you and you're totally content, then who am i to say that's not the right thing for you?
it's just not right for me. the people with whom i do have relationships have spoiled me in a way that makes me expect more from people. they've spoiled me to an extent that when you don't live up to those expectations, i'm going to continue to cling on to the people whom i've loved for years, those people who live up to the expectations, the guy who drives down from boston, the old friend who calls me from france on her cell phone, the one who asks how i am on a semi-regular basis via facebook because she's busy living her life in prague, the girl who calls me on a sunday evening and leaves a message letting me know that she needs me in her life more.
i'm excited to make new friends, more friends, good friends. if you ever want to do more than an occasional lunch date, an every now and then night on the town, if you really want to talk and hang out and share stories and experiences, to take the everyday talk about work and the gossip and just put a little bit more feeling and reality behind all of it, know that i love that kind of thing and i'm here.
in the meantime, i'm going to try to start saving up for a laptop, so i can enjoy my time in the sun. i'm going to love where i am and love that i have deep friendships with what sometimes seems like a million different types of people. i'm going to continue to love my job, to love my boyfriend, to love my cat and my dog and my little apartment, to love my friends, and my family, and my roadtrips, and the next new exciting happening in my life as they come and go and make impact.
